Mindfulness-Based Interventions That Helped Me Recover

Amanda Sobhy, the most successful squash player in United States history and a former world number three, has moved from a period of private struggle to a role of public advocacy by detailing her long-term recovery from an eating disorder. Sobhy, who maintained a dominant professional career while silently battling bulimia, has recently outlined the specific tools, professional interventions, and psychological shifts that allowed her to break a decade-long cycle of disordered eating. Her journey highlights the often-invisible nature of mental health crises among elite athletes and the systemic barriers that can prevent high-performing individuals from seeking formal clinical treatment.

Sobhy’s narrative is characterized by a stark dichotomy between her outward professional success and her internal health crisis. During her tenure at Harvard University, Sobhy achieved an unprecedented 62-0 record, losing only two games throughout her entire collegiate career. However, this period of athletic perfectionism coincided with the early stages of an eating disorder that she kept hidden from teammates, coaches, and family. The pressure to maintain a high-performance output, combined with a self-described "all-or-nothing" mindset, fueled a binge-purge cycle that persisted well into her professional career on the Professional Squash Association (PSA) Tour.

The Chronology of a Silent Crisis

The timeline of Sobhy’s struggle and eventual recovery spans over six years of active, though non-linear, effort. After graduating from Harvard in 2015 and transitioning to the professional tour full-time, the lack of a structured collegiate environment exacerbated her internal pressures. By 2018, Sobhy reached what she described as a breaking point. The severity of her binge-purge cycles following tournaments led her to seek professional help from an eating disorder specialist.

However, her attempt to enter formal treatment was thwarted by systemic issues prevalent in the American healthcare system. Despite her status as a top-tier athlete, Sobhy found that her insurance did not cover the specialized care required, and the out-of-pocket costs were prohibitively expensive. This resulted in her receiving only a single introductory session before she was forced to navigate her recovery through alternative means. It was not until 2021 that Sobhy felt sufficiently recovered to go public with her story, a decision marked by a symbolic tattoo on her ankle depicting a bird and the word "free."

The Role of Holistic Sports Psychology

In the absence of formal clinical eating disorder treatment, Sobhy relied on a specialized support team integrated within her squash coaching staff. Central to this process was Amy Gross, a holistic sports psychologist who began working with Sobhy in 2015. Rather than focusing solely on match performance or court strategy, Gross addressed the underlying psychological traits that contributed to Sobhy’s disordered eating: perfectionism, a harsh inner critic, and limited emotional regulation.

Gross utilized mindfulness-based interventions to interrupt the "autopilot" nature of the binge-purge cycle. These techniques included:

• Nonjudgmental Observation: Learning to identify urges as they arose without immediately acting upon them.
• Cognitive Spacing: Creating a mental "pause" between a triggering event—such as a match loss or a period of burnout—and the subsequent behavioral response.
• Self-Compassion Training: Replacing feelings of guilt and self-loathing with kindness, particularly following relapses, which are common in the recovery process.

By framing these interventions as part of her athletic development, Sobhy was able to bypass the denial that had previously prevented her from acknowledging her condition. This approach allowed her to address the psychological drivers of her bulimia while maintaining her identity as a high-functioning athlete.

Nutritional Rehabilitation and Performance Fueling

Complementing the psychological work was a radical restructuring of Sobhy’s relationship with food, led by sports dietitian Nyree Dardarian. Sobhy began working with Dardarian in 2017 while recovering from her first Achilles tendon rupture. At the time, her eating habits were defined by restriction, fear, and a lack of control.

Dardarian’s approach rejected the "diet culture" often found in competitive sports, which frequently labels foods as "good" or "bad." Instead, the focus was shifted to "performance fueling" and social connection. Key components of this nutritional recovery included:

• The Life Calendar: A weekly structure that integrated training, travel, and social events, ensuring that meals were planned around real-world needs rather than restrictive rules.
• Sustainable Rituals: The development of reliable, accessible pre-match meals, such as a peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich, which provided consistency during international travel to locations like Egypt or Malaysia.
• Environmental Management: Using menu reviews and photo-sharing to help Sobhy navigate restaurant dining without feeling overwhelmed by choices.
• Inclusion of "Joy Foods": Intentionally including desserts and shared meals after tournaments to prevent the feelings of deprivation that typically triggered private binging.

Statistical Context: Eating Disorders in Elite Athletics

Sobhy’s experience is reflective of a broader trend within high-performance sports. Research indicates that elite athletes are at a significantly higher risk for disordered eating compared to the general population. According to data from the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), approximately 13.5% of athletes struggle with an eating disorder, with the prevalence rising to as high as 45% in female athletes competing in "lean" or aesthetic sports.

Furthermore, the phenomenon known as Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport (RED-S) highlights the physiological dangers of inadequate fueling. RED-S can lead to decreased bone health, impaired metabolic rate, and increased injury risk—factors that are particularly relevant given Sobhy’s history of two major Achilles tendon ruptures. Experts note that the "high-functioning" nature of athletes like Sobhy often masks the severity of their illness, as their ability to continue winning matches can be used by both the athlete and their support system to deny the existence of a problem.

Broader Implications and Advocacy

Sobhy’s decision to share her story in 2021 was timed to coincide with her feeling "free" from the cycle, but it also served a larger purpose within the sporting community. By speaking openly, she challenged the stereotype that eating disorders have a specific "look" or that they only affect those who are outwardly struggling.

The "Every BODY Belongs" campaign, a central theme of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, aligns with Sobhy’s message that these illnesses do not discriminate based on success, discipline, or physical appearance. Her advocacy has prompted a broader conversation within the Professional Squash Association regarding the mental health resources available to players on the tour.

Industry analysts suggest that Sobhy’s transparency may lead to better safeguarding protocols within sports organizations. This includes:

1. Improved Screening: Implementing mental health and nutritional screenings that go beyond physical injury checks.
2. Financial Support: Addressing the gap in insurance coverage for specialized mental health services for professional athletes who operate as independent contractors.
3. Coach Education: Training coaching staffs to recognize the signs of perfectionism-driven disordered eating before it reaches a crisis point.

Future Outlook and the LA28 Games

Despite the setbacks of her recovery and two major physical injuries—most recently a second Achilles rupture in December 2023—Sobhy remains a dominant force in the sport. Currently ranked number two in the U.S. and number 11 in the world, she is targeting the Los Angeles 2028 Summer Games, where squash will make its Olympic debut.

Sobhy’s current approach to her career is defined by the balance she lacked during her early years. By utilizing the tools of mindfulness and flexible nutrition, she has managed to sustain a world-class ranking while prioritizing her long-term well-being. Her role as a board member for the Professional Squash Association and an ambassador for the US Squash Foundation further cements her influence as a leader who prioritizes the "whole athlete" over mere performance metrics.

Her journey serves as a case study in the possibility of recovery through a combination of professional expertise and personal vulnerability. As Sobhy continues to compete on the world stage, her legacy is increasingly defined not just by her 22 PSA titles or her historic world ranking, but by her commitment to ensuring that the next generation of athletes does not have to carry their burdens in silence.