Mindfulness-Based Interventions That Helped Me Recover

Amanda Sobhy, the most decorated squash player in United States history, has provided a comprehensive account of her decade-long battle with bulimia nervosa and the unconventional recovery path that allowed her to maintain a world-class athletic career while navigating a severe mental health crisis. Sobhy, who reached a career-high world ranking of number three, disclosed that her recovery was not the result of traditional clinical intervention but rather a multi-year integration of mindfulness-based sports psychology and specialized nutritional programming. Her revelation coincides with National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, underscoring the "Every BODY Belongs" campaign which seeks to highlight that eating disorders do not have a singular appearance or demographic profile.

For much of her career, Sobhy operated as a "high-functioning" athlete, a status that she admits contributed to a deep sense of denial and a reluctance to seek formal treatment. The pressure to maintain peak physical condition while competing on the Professional Squash Association (PSA) Tour created a paradox where her outward success masked an internal cycle of binging and purging. This narrative reflects a broader trend within elite athletics, where the pursuit of perfectionism often obscures the early warning signs of psychological distress.

The Hidden Crisis in Elite Athletics

Sobhy’s experience illuminates a significant gap in the support systems available to professional athletes. Despite her status as a top-five world-ranked player, she faced substantial barriers to care. In the fall of 2018, reaching what she described as a "breaking point," Sobhy attempted to engage with a specialized eating disorder therapist. However, the intersection of insurance limitations and the high out-of-pocket costs of specialized care resulted in her receiving only a single introductory session.

This financial and systemic barrier is not unique to Sobhy. Statistical data from the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) indicates that cost remains one of the primary deterrents for individuals seeking help. In the context of professional sports, where athletes are often independent contractors without comprehensive employer-provided health plans, these barriers are amplified. Sobhy’s decision to "bury" her struggle for years—hiding it from coaches, teammates, and family—highlights the pervasive stigma and the "all-or-nothing" mindset that characterizes many high-performance environments.

A Chronology of Recovery and Performance

The timeline of Sobhy’s recovery is intrinsically linked to the milestones of her professional career and her resilience in the face of physical injury.

• 2015: The Transition to Professionalism. After a historic collegiate career at Harvard University—where she maintained a 62-0 record—Sobhy turned professional. It was during this period that she began working with holistic sports psychologist Amy Gross. While the initial focus was on match performance, the partnership eventually pivoted to addressing Sobhy’s underlying perfectionism and emotional dysregulation.
• 2017: The First Achilles Rupture. A major physical setback occurred in 2017 when Sobhy suffered her first Achilles tendon rupture. During the rehabilitation process, she integrated sports dietitian Nyree Dardarian into her team. This period marked the beginning of a structured effort to rebuild her relationship with food, shifting away from restriction and toward performance-based fueling.
• 2018: The Critical Breaking Point. Despite her professional successes, the binge-purge cycle intensified post-tournaments. The failure to secure formal therapy due to insurance constraints forced Sobhy to rely on her existing sports performance team to navigate what was essentially a clinical eating disorder.
• 2021: Public Disclosure and Symbolic Freedom. After six years of internal work, Sobhy felt sufficiently recovered to go public. She marked the occasion with a symbolic tattoo on her ankle—a bird accompanied by the word "free"—representing the removal of the "invisible weight" she had carried since her college years.
• 2023–2024: Second Rupture and Olympic Ambitions. In December 2023, Sobhy suffered a second Achilles rupture. Now ranked world number 11, her current focus is on a return to competition in anticipation of the LA28 Summer Games, where squash will make its Olympic debut.

The Methodology of Holistic Recovery

Sobhy’s recovery was built on two primary pillars: mindfulness-based cognitive interventions and the rejection of traditional diet culture.

Mindfulness and Cognitive Reframing

Working with Amy Gross, Sobhy addressed the "internal world" located between her ears. The focus was on identifying the traits that fueled her disorder: perfectionism, a harsh inner critic, and limited coping skills. Mindfulness-based interventions were utilized to create "space" between a thought (the urge to binge) and an action (the purge).

By practicing nonjudgmental observation and breathwork, Sobhy learned to interrupt the "autopilot" nature of her cycle. Journaling and meditation allowed her to tolerate imperfection—a vital skill for an athlete whose self-worth had previously been tied strictly to match outcomes. This cognitive shift moved her from a state of self-loathing and guilt to one of self-compassion and resilience.

Nutritional Rehabilitation

The role of sports dietitian Nyree Dardarian was equally pivotal. Dardarian implemented a "life calendar" approach, which integrated training, travel, and social events into a flexible meal plan. This strategy was designed to eliminate "forbidden foods" and "cheat days," concepts that often trigger binging episodes in those with disordered eating patterns.

A key component of this rehabilitation was the simplification of fueling. Sobhy adopted a reliable pre-match meal—a peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich—that could be replicated anywhere in the world, from Egypt to Malaysia. By focusing on connection and enjoyment rather than restriction, Sobhy was able to navigate the complex social environments of the international squash tour without falling back into isolation.

Data and Analysis: Eating Disorders in High-Stakes Sports

Sobhy’s narrative is supported by emerging data regarding the prevalence of eating disorders among elite female athletes. Research suggests that athletes in "lean" sports—those where weight or aesthetics are perceived to influence performance—are at a significantly higher risk.

According to studies cited by the NCAA and various sports medicine journals, the prevalence of disordered eating in female elite athletes can range from 18% to as high as 45% in certain disciplines. The "Female Athlete Triad" (low energy availability, menstrual dysfunction, and low bone mineral density) is a well-documented risk, yet many athletes, like Sobhy, remain "high-functioning" for years before their physical or mental health reaches a point of collapse.

The analysis of Sobhy’s case suggests that the "all-or-nothing" mindset, while beneficial for achieving athletic excellence, is a double-edged sword. When applied to nutrition and body image, it becomes a catalyst for pathology. Sobhy’s recovery demonstrates that high-performance success and mental health recovery are not mutually exclusive, but they require a shift from performance-at-all-costs to a model of sustainable well-being.

Impact on the Sporting Community and Official Responses

The response to Sobhy’s transparency has been overwhelmingly positive within the squash community and the broader sports world. As a board member of the Professional Squash Association and an ambassador for the US Squash Foundation, Sobhy’s advocacy carries significant weight.

While the PSA has not issued a formal statement on Sobhy’s specific case, her story has prompted a wider discussion regarding the mental health resources available to professional players. Organizations like the Squash & Education Alliance have noted the importance of role models like Sobhy in destigmatizing mental health struggles for younger players.

By aligning her story with National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, Sobhy has challenged the stereotype that eating disorders only affect those who "look" a certain way. Her message that "Every BODY Belongs" serves as a call to action for sports organizations to implement better screening and more accessible support for athletes who may be suffering in silence.

Broader Implications and Future Outlook

The implications of Sobhy’s journey extend beyond the squash court. Her experience highlights the necessity for a multidisciplinary approach to athlete health—one that treats mental health as a core component of physical performance rather than a secondary concern.

As Sobhy prepares for the 2024 season and the road to the LA28 Olympics, her focus remains on the tools that saved her career: mindfulness, flexibility, and vulnerability. Her story serves as a case study in the power of lived experience and the importance of addressing the psychological roots of physical symptoms.

In a professional landscape that often demands stoicism, Sobhy’s choice to be "seen" as a person who struggled and recovered is perhaps her most significant contribution to the sport. It reinforces the reality that even the most accomplished individuals are susceptible to the pressures of perfectionism, and that the path to true freedom lies in the courage to speak the truth.